the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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