dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
