I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
