Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
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