fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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