So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
