that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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