fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
