do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
