Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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