the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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