I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
