i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
