Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
