So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
you never un-have a 4some
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
