Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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