it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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