this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize