Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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