I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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