Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
