let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
