If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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