brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
He better not be in your backpack
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
