Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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