Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
