I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize