Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
