new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
As shirtless as possible
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
