She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
