She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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