As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
