Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
