His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
