Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
