Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize