if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
