We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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