I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
