am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm like, not good at living.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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