brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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