Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize