I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
