That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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