remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
