just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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