I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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