on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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