she smelled like a LAN party
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
