He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
