At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
