Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
