I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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