so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
