whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
