That's when you crack a 10am beer
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
