My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
