Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
