So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
