The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
