I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize