i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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