we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
