...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
