I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
