before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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