I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
