I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
