okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
